Minimise Damage

hmmz..it's been 24 hours....but it's still there. sadly, it isnt a dream, it isnt going to go away that fast too....

sometimes i just find it hard to accept that i cannot have an ideal situation....it's really painful!!!

but still, it's my choice to remain joyful =)

Someone said "you can have a supernatural day, or a normal day.." Pretty obvious which day i opt for....^_^

Calvin's Milk Processor

On a lighter note....enjoy this video....
Calvin likes to drink milk.....

On me?

I am actually still in disbelief....

I cant believe that a recurring theme that we so often see on MVs and movies and TV series has actually happened to me...real life....

Frankly speaking, i dont know what to do....

I think i wanna give up...

How Much More?

I really like to give time....and I've seen the results of giving time....
A question just popped up in my mind last night as i was packing....
"How much more can you give?"
I told myself "I dont know...but i shall keep giving..."

Enlarge my horizon...

Fall

My burden in my heart since this morning:

"So I yearn for You, long to see You move, so I lift my hands before my King and pray."

Friendship

The timing of certain things can really be interesting ...just when Jean finally had the courage to point out what went wrong with our friendship, someone totally unrelated to the whole incident asked me a question last night "What do you look for in a friendship?" or "what do you treasure most in a friendship?"

My reply: "eternity"

I'm not sure whether this is a seasonal kind of answer..but yea...it's my answer for now...maybe it will stand forever, maybe i will change my answer again....

To all who know me, i've got a confession to make...i'm a good friend maker, but a bad friend keeper..

Can you help me to be a good friend keeper...please?

To Jean

Dear Jean,
I've read your blog entry dedicated to me and ss I write this, there is this overwhelming sense of regret and apology that is gripping my heart. Yes, it has been a long time indeed....

It has been 4 years and I'm ashamed to admit that, as you have said, we have drifted apart. We met in 2004. There were 4 of us then, and somehow, 3 more were added and we became the gang of 7 indeed. The times where we always hung around the foyer at Monash Sunway campus, the times when we would go for Walter Tan's econs tutorial, the times when we would go over to Medan for lunch, the times when we went to Redbox for a time of singing, all these are etched in my memory and mind.

You were one of the few good friends i had in Malaysia. Though I knew many people, not many people truly knew me and both you and rachel were the few ones who really knew me. Ailing and Sarah too. All of you made my campus life in Malaysia truly fun and memorable. When you and Rachel left for Melbourne in the 1st Sem of 2005, i was very upset. Everything didnt feel the same. I remembered telling Ailing once that life then has become so much quieter without the 2 of you around.

Somehow over here in Melb, we truly indeed drifted apart. I take responsibility for it. I saw the effort you put in in trying to organise catch up sessions, but it was always I that let you down. Nevertheless, you always sought to ensure that we could at least meet up once in a very blue moon. Coming to think about it, I'm so sorry for not turning up at the Chinese New Year dinner that you hosted in 2007. My bad.

"People say that we have different friends different stages of our lives"..this phrase that you wrote....it surely did catch my eye...it speaks so much. Now, am i really content to let stages of our lives dictate the different friends that we should have? I do not know. I can only say, I am a good friend maker, but an absolute bad friend keeper. I've let our friendship down..

Thank you for your wishes in my current and future endeavours. All of us have entered a new phase of life. All of us have grown. All of us have a sky that we are flying in. Though we all may have spread our wings and flown off in our own separate directions, I yearn that there will be one day whereby we will fly back to our take off point, our first time, our first meetings, our first memories.

Take care my dear friend. Keep in touch indeed. =)

Love with prayers
Jason

Not This, But That!

I've been fighting to put my focus on my first love...but somehow, there is this force that is consiously drawing me away to someone/something/somesort/etc and it really frustrates me when i realise that i actually allow it to happen...though i pray for it NOT to be like this!

I want to come back to the heart of worship...I must come back to the heart of worship!

Sometimes

Sometimes, i just find it hard to speak the truth with love. Though Ephesians say that we must speak truthfully to one another, it's very hard to implement in real life. Cause we fear of the repurcussions. We fear of the consequences. We fear that a flaw or weakness in us will be exposed if we speak the truth. We fear we offend the other party.

Then we try to be politically correct in our words and when we fail to get our point across, we get miserable. Who can we blame but ourselves?

Life..if only we could be heard with no emotions attached....