Thursday, January 19, 2006
~ 9:39 AM ~
What is my worth? What is one's worth?
How do you measure your worth? Is there any rule of thumb that defines what your worth is? (if there is, kindly share it with me..thanks..)
And then i will start to think, who determines what you are worth? Why must you be worth something? To whom are you trying to show that you are worth it or worthy of something? Parents? Leaders? Friends? Colleagues?
Many people are trying to prove their worth to others, i believe. I believe that ppl want to prove their worth cause they do not want to be looked down upon. They are striving to fufil that self-actualisation, achieving the highest possible attainment. With this worth, they will be looked upon and praised and admired. Sounds egoistic? I have no idea...
I used to think that my worth is determined by stuff such as exam results and achievements...things tt give public recognition i reckon. I have been excelling academically since secondary school. I have won awards here and there, awards tt give me recognition. I have been chosen to represent my schools in certain events, some prestigious ones as well. I represented my various schools in swimming and bowling and have won medals. I was elected to hold positions in executive committees. I earned praises.
I strived to be the best, if not, to be at least worthy to someone. For example, i am a bowling fanatic. i spent a lot of time (and money..) training and training. coz i wanted to be good at the sport..i wanted to be deemed good enuff by my coach to represent my school in competitions. i wanted to win...i wanted tt glory to soak myself in.
Perhaps i felt insecure. i used these tangible stuff to measure my worth..how silly i was then...
I realised tt if my worth is built on things tt i see and feel...i wonder, what happens to me if these very things tt build my worth are gone one day? Will I lose my worth? Similarly, if my success is built on a successful career, if my career is gone one day..will I become unsuccessful?
Who are we trying to prove our worth to? I was asked by a friend today.."Why are you trying to prove your worth to someone?". She asked a good question. I replied something superficial, but deep down my heart, i had no answer.
Perhaps worthiness has nothing to do with the things that you can do or cannot do. Perhaps worthiness has nothing to do with failing to meet up to people's expectations. Perhaps worthiness has nothing to do with the things that you see and do.
Perhaps worthiness is something that cannot be seen, heard or touched.
Perhaps worthiness cannot be measured or seen at all...cause if i begin to build my worthiness on what is unseen, can you see my worth then?
