Thursday, December 29, 2005
~ 2:00 PM ~
I love this title. Can we walk forward if we look backward?
Everyone has his/her dark pasts. Pasts that are so dark that individuals want to bury them so that they will never live to see the daylight again. Obviously by burying them, individuals think that they have forgotten all about their unhappy stories and can move ahead. But can they really move ahead? Moving ahead is possible, but the core of the question is whether they can really move ahead gracefully.
I thought i had forgotten some unhappy/unpleasant stuff that happened to me a few yrs back. But all these images came into my head again last nite as i was talking to a fren. Obviously, i was unwilling to mention anything about it. Coz i felt tt if i did mention them, it would affect my whole mood. And this is something i didnt wanna go through. Self deception u can call it, but this is wat i wanna do.
If i had not talked to that fren of mine, maybe i wouldnt remember anything about it. I don't blame that fren of mine. The crux of the issue is my obvious suppression of the whole matter. I am unwilling to talk about it. I have not freed myself from the pain that is so distinctly present when i recall it once in a very blue moon. Even if i do talk about it, there's nothing i can do about it. They happened so so so long ago. Nothing's gonna change.
Therefore, even if i do look backward, i m still walking forward. And i can say, i am walking well...for now..