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Monday, April 25, 2005
~ 3:50 PM ~
been watching a jap idol series shown on tv every sat and sun at 6pm. today's episode was somehow emotional for me. let me explain
there's this guy, azumi, who is a very talented photographer. in fact he was chosen by some reknown world magazine to take part in a competition, competing with the worlds' best photographers. however, his life took a turning point when he contracted some eye disease and will lose his eyesight in 3 months time. dejected, demoralised and losing all meaning in his life, he quits his job and goes back to his hometown, Nagasaki, to live with his mum.
he does not tell his mum abt his illness as he is worried tt his mum will not be able to take it. ever since azumi's bro passed away, azumi's mum has always and only wished tt azumi be 'genki' (healthy in jap).
as with all jap love stories, Shiki, a nurse finds her way to Nagasaki to search for azumi, hoping to encourage him and bring him back to tokyo (shiki loves azumi but is not sure whether it's love).
shiki advises azumi to tell his mum abt his illness which he obliged. the mum accepted the truth, but apparently she was badly shocked and fainted later in the afternoon. at nite, the mum asks shiki to sleep beside her and this is the part when i got a little emotional.
the mum blamed heaven for being cruel for taking away her husband, her son (azumi's bro) and now heaven is unwilling to spare azumi's sight. she lamented that heaven should take her life instead. she explained that ever since azumi's dad passed away, she began planting many flowers, hoping and praying that the flowers will bless the 2 sons and keep them away from harm's way. however, now, azumi's bro is gone and the flowers wilded. she questioned herself in where she had gone wrong in taking care of the flowers (deeper meaning, where had she gone wrong in protecting her sons?) she began listing all the flowers she had planted and shiki began to sob, touched by the mum' love.
at this point, i began to feel a twitching pain in my heart. the mum shouldnt blame herself for any events that have happened. but i feel her pain as it is natural for a mum to want to suffer the pain in place of her child. the mum in the show is in her 60s and i cant imagine the sufferings she is going thru with the thought tt she has a son that is losing his sight soon. it's like the whole world is crashing on her. i could sense the helplessness in her. her repeated implied meanings tt she has failed as a mum makes my heart cry even more.
this is something i dun want my mum to go thru. i want her to enjoy her late years and be proud of my bro and i. i dun want my parents to worry abt our health or any other sort of things. all i want for them is to be happy and healthy.
to conclude, today's episode was really a heartwarming one and a good opportunity for me to be extracted from the world. a wonderful experience.
