I'm done with exam marking and keying in of the exam marks!!!!! FINALLY DONE!!!!
now...back to phd.....
i need to see my supervisors...or rather...one wants to see me, i need to see the other one....
=(
Sunday, June 22, 2008
~ 11:01 PM ~
Overwhelmed
If you ask me how i feel now, overwhelmed is a good word to describe it. Perhaps it's an understatement of certain things that i'm going through.
Things that happened to me over the past week, things that i see happening to people over the past week..things that i need to set out to do for the coming week..things that have not been working well... they're just so overwhelming
i'm so convinced that the toughest things to deal with on this planet are emotions and people...
to those who are close to me, it's not YOU ok..it's just an accumulation of things over time and people tt just got a little too big for me to handle....^_^
wat i need now is not rest..it's space.....
i want to be selfish and just think abt myself these few days...but i know i cant...
oh wells, life goes on....
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
~ 11:51 PM ~
Standard Raised
right..so today was my scheduled appointment with my supervisor. She prepared well.
I stepped into her office at 1130am today and noticed that her office was a little different. She had this huge whiteboard on the table against the wall....it was meant for me....nope..not meant for me to take home..meant for me to PRESENT to my supervisor the work that i'm going through .....well, that was what she said..the whiteboard was meant for me to write on for her to see...
she has just raised the bar....she has raised the pressure for me....
She was really quick..when i asked her a question, she asked "do you want to write it on that whiteboard?" and i was like..errz...ok
so i started writing and explaining my train of thoughts, and asking her questions along the way...my heart was pounding really fast...after all, you're presenting material to your supervisor!!!! It was like a lecture....and of course, being a perfectionist, i didnt want to appear that i didnt know my content well..so i went really technical into my discussion...she liked it....
along the way, she would ask "why did you do that?" or "what's the rationale?".... to top things up, she would deliberately make mistakes in her writings and i would have to pick it up and she would said "good", and i would ask "you mean that was deliberate to test me?"..and she would say with a big smile "yes!"
12:45pm. Meeting was over. Before i left, she said "you did very well! much better when my supervisor did that with me the 1st time!"
now i know...my meetings with my supervisor is going to be a high stress level affair from now on.....
but honestly, i kinda found it fun and challenging...battle of the brains!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
~ 3:21 PM ~
Menzies on a Saturday
For the 1st time in my 3 years here in Melb, i actually came into Uni to work on a weekend. Menzies building is so quiet.....and i thought it couldnt get any quieter than during the exam period
escalators are off, 50% of the lights are turned off....
so quiet.....
next time, if i want some peace and quiet and jsut want to dwell in my own thoughts..i know where to come to...
well, time to go home..just finished marking 80 exam scripts....(well, i only mark 1 question..so i marked 80 questions)
it's interesting when students come up with new formulae that you never saw before. On first sight, it looks intelligent. On further working and thought, they're just making things up...^_^ which means, WRONG!!! hahahahahaha!
ciaoz!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
~ 5:36 PM ~
Lake's Entrance
okie dokie..a very late post...but yeap, here are the photos that i took when i went on a short holiday with Ian, Ivy, Rachel and Veng at Lake's Entrance from the 11th to 13th May. fantastic place....not many people and good scenaries, perfect place for me to rest, daydream and play!!!
right..so this is the second week of exams and i must confess that i'm indeed not used to seeing my undergrad friends mugging for exams and complaining about stress and the lack of time and sleep....well, because I dont have exams this semester....
what i'm also not used to is the fact that i've been in uni everyday although semester has ended and i'm not used to the fact that i've to continue working at times like this...times like this referring to exam period and the imminent coming of sem holidays...=(
when my undegrad friends finish their exams, they will be free to go and play while i'll be loaded with tons of work cause i'll be marking exam papers! i'll be marking 2 subjects...not really complainign about that cause i know i will earn lots of cash from that...haha! but the thought of not being able to go out with them as often as i used to....it's kinda sad lar...
on a more serious note, ever since i started PhD, i've been asking myself whether I've grown to become out of touch of what undergrad students go through now...sometimes i just feel i cant connect with my undergrad frens ...sometimes i just feel i dont understand them...and sometimes i think they dont understand me...
Sometimes when i think about the times that i had with them that arent really possible now, i just let out a huge sigh....it's sad....
A random reflection of the state of mind...here's what you get =)
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
~ 12:32 AM ~
Hiding
One of the hardest things I have found in life is to control your emotions and pretend that everything is normal...
so many things, so many thoughts, so much unwillingness to let go.....yet I know that I have to move on, no matter how unwilling i am
I actually gave myself till Sunday...but i'm still dwelling on it.... there's just so much unwillingness....it's just impossible to keep my eyes closed!
i have to be strong. i must be strong. and I shall rejoice and give thanks in all circumstances!
why do certain things just have to be harder than I think????
