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Friday, December 30, 2005
~ 7:00 PM ~
This is one of the times when i start to let my mind wander around and start to collect my thoughts on certain issues.

My MSN nick currently is "Resting is to enable you to walk a longer distance."

I believe it wouldn't be a sweeping statement if i said that majority of you who are reading this blog relate 'resting' to 'sleeping' or 'doing nothing at all'. And my next question to you is "What longer distance do you have to walk?" Again, I believe majority would said that the longer distance is to fulfill the ambition or dream or goal of yours.

I do not deny the above, cause it still applies in my life. But think again, is resting really just sleeping or doing nothing at all? Does the longer distance really mean getting to a 'final destination'? I am thinking of another proposition.

My home balcony faces a highway and i can see more highways in the distance. I was standing at the balcony just now, looking at all the cars zoom by, heading towards their destination. They never stop. They are on the go. I am then reminded on how the earth rotates. I am then reminded of the ugly faces of the earth.

What are these ugly faces? Wars and natural disasters. Turn on the tv, what do u see on the tv at this point in time? Let me tell u, Israel attacking the Gaza strip again, and reliving those 'defining moments' such as Hurricane Katrina and the Tsunami tt occurred last year.

Arent u tired of reading sick and grisly news? Arent u disheartened at humanity? Arent you empathetic towards those ppl who lost their loved ones and property during disasters and wars? The world has fallen sick, did u realise that? Or have we become numb and resistant to such things? Have we begun to embrace them? We have come to live in co-existence with this deranged world.

Having said all these, my 2nd definition of resting would be extracting urself from this world. Forget all the unpleasant things that tingle in your heart. Forget all the worldly things that tempt or affect you. How do you rest then? You want to rest in a way that can recharge you spiritually, not physically. You want to remind yourself of the things that you hold dear to your heart. I do hope these things are intangible...Also, you may want to expand your knowledge on what life should really be, how one should live, and how one should think.

What then is the longer distance you have to walk after the rest? My new proposition of longer distance is the tolerance you would have to build up against the insanity of this world. After all, we don't live alone. We co-exist with people. In our bid to survive, we would have to put up with what the world puts us through. Obviously, it may mean going against your values and principles.

You do not have to agree with what i say. After all, it's just my own personal reflection and thoughts.

Lets try to find some rest, shall we?

Thursday, December 29, 2005
~ 2:00 PM ~
I love this title. Can we walk forward if we look backward?

Everyone has his/her dark pasts. Pasts that are so dark that individuals want to bury them so that they will never live to see the daylight again. Obviously by burying them, individuals think that they have forgotten all about their unhappy stories and can move ahead. But can they really move ahead? Moving ahead is possible, but the core of the question is whether they can really move ahead gracefully.

I thought i had forgotten some unhappy/unpleasant stuff that happened to me a few yrs back. But all these images came into my head again last nite as i was talking to a fren. Obviously, i was unwilling to mention anything about it. Coz i felt tt if i did mention them, it would affect my whole mood. And this is something i didnt wanna go through. Self deception u can call it, but this is wat i wanna do.

If i had not talked to that fren of mine, maybe i wouldnt remember anything about it. I don't blame that fren of mine. The crux of the issue is my obvious suppression of the whole matter. I am unwilling to talk about it. I have not freed myself from the pain that is so distinctly present when i recall it once in a very blue moon. Even if i do talk about it, there's nothing i can do about it. They happened so so so long ago. Nothing's gonna change.

Therefore, even if i do look backward, i m still walking forward. And i can say, i am walking well...for now..

Wednesday, December 28, 2005
~ 8:52 AM ~
Cass, Rachel and I met up with Sylvia at Mid Valley last nite for dinner! It was a great feeling to be able to see Sylvia again last nite! It's been only about 2.5 weeks since we saw each other but it felt so long! The fact that Sylvia has graduated and will not be returning to Australia has not really sunk in yet...
The thought of not being able to see her in the dining call in the Campus Centre is so sad....
Anywayz, here r the pics tt we took...enjoy!

Do you see 3 teddy bears or 3 ppl? ^_^


Rachel and Cass


Rachel and me


Rachel and Sylvia


Rachel, Sylvia and Cass


Sylvia and me

Monday, December 26, 2005
~ 11:18 AM ~
Merry Holidays to all in this festive season. Been busy the past few days coz a fren, jonathan, frm singapore came to visit me. so played host to him. with cass, the 3 of us went to quite a lot of places, mainly for makan, movie and play.
lazy to describe wat we did..coz i m so tired..lol! let the pictures do the talking ya? but then, also didnt take tt many..coz i either forgot or was lazy to take..haha! and besides, my photography skills are bad...the following pics prove this point..

Jon, Rachel, Serene, Cass, Sue Ann (Dinner at Kim Gary, Sunway Pyramid)


Jonathan prepared to bowl


Did i strike?


My beautiful ending position..would be more beautiful if i had my own gear..LOL


Cass and Jonthan


Jonathan and Me!


Cass and me!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005
~ 11:31 AM ~
Been back in Malaysia for a few days. "Nothing gold can stay" has been a reflection i have been feeling since i came back here. This sentence just came into my head when i saw how much has changed in the area i am living in. Though i have not been around here for about half a year, change is everywhere.

Looking at the literal meaning, it means that even gold will lose its shine one day. Gone is its glamour and pride one day.

What about the intrinsic meaning, u may ask? My ans: It depends, cause it encompasses so many aspects and areas. Fundamentally, i would say that this phrase is used to describe one's golden moments.

An individual will definitely have golden moments. Excellent exam results, awards, recognition, job praise, and many many more. But how long do these sweet moments last? Definitely not eternity. Just like how a river flows, people will soon forget who you are and what you did. Cause there will always be persons better enough to fit into your shoes and if not, rip open your shoes cause their feet is larger.

I was back in Monash Malaysia campus this morning to accompany a fren to collect her offer letter to Australia. I went earlier cause i wanted to have a look at this campus which I have accomplished much. As soon as I stepped onto the campus, I felt nostalgic. I asked myself "Was this really the place i studied in for 1.5 years?". It was quite hard to imagine.

Memories started pouring in. I remembered sitting at the foyer with a group of friends. We would talk and laugh. Tempers lost and words of discouragement also occured at this foyer. This foyer was where we had fun and toiled during work. The smell of victory and defeat was evident in the air.

I walked up to the computer lab. The computers have been removed from some of the com labs. I guess they were going to be replaced with new and better ones. I reminded myself "This was the place where i usually had to fight for a vacant spot to do my assignments." Gone are the computers that i used to complete assignments and print lecture notes.

When my friend and i was about to enter the staff room, we met our Business Statistics lecturer outside. She recognised me straight away, but she did not remember my name. The only thing she remembered about me, I was her top student in the semester i did Business Statistics. We had a good talk outside the staff room. But all those that happened were in the past. Nothing gold stayed...nothing gold can stay.

If I were to take the reflection phrase into a deeper level, i guess i can only go as deep as to describe human nature. No matter how righteous a man is, there will be times when evil deeds will be committed. One bad thing a good man does can nullify the 100 good deeds that this good man did b4. Why? Cause people only remember what you did to hurt them, not what you did that may have benefitted them. This is the kind of world we live in, i believe.

Cynical or skeptical? It's your call.

Monday, December 12, 2005
~ 4:19 PM ~
A song of comfort and strength

Many nights we pray
With no proof anyone could hear
And our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understand
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we know we could

Chorus:
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who know what miracle
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
And now I am standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

Chorus:
There can be miracles
When you believe (When you believe)
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who know what miracle
You can achieve (You can achieve)
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

Bridge:
They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fear
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see you way safe through the rain
Thought of a still resilient voice
Says love is very near

Chorus:
There can be miracles (miracles)
When you believe (When you believe)
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who know what miracles
You can achieve (You can achieve)
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe
You will when you believe
You will when you believe
Just believe
You will when you believe

~ 11:36 AM ~
At St. Kilda's Beach...


Outside Luna Theme Park (St Kilda's as well)


Acknowledgements:
Photo taken by Antonius
Photo obtained from www.pbase.ronong.com

Sunday, December 04, 2005
~ 11:55 AM ~
Hi guys!
So sorry that i have not blogged for such a long time. Was busy preparing for a Church camp and had camp and just returned from camp.

I must say that a lot has been learnt from this camp and i enjoyed every moment of it. Apart from the spiritual side of the camp, i think the highlight of the camp was when a group of us woke up at 6am to carry out our bday sabotage on Ian. We tied his legs and hands, tied them to a stick and carried him with the stick. We then tied him to a tree and in front of his very eyes, we mixed a lot of interesting ingredients. These ingredients were: River water, flour, eggs, expired milk, orange, banana, tuna and chrysanthemen tea (which everyone thought was urine). We mixed them and poured it on Ian...poor boy..haha! compliments to jeff, i was also poured with the ingredients when i was caught off guard...jeff, a little too early for my bday sabo?

About JaSzZ~



Jason Ng
Monash University (Australia)
2nd Year PhD (Financial Econometrics)
23 years old

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